The Book
- Praise for the Guide
- >> PRG Member Testimonials
- Evolution of the Guide (PDF)
- Table of Contents (PDF)
- Sample Chapters
- Guide Front Cover (PDF)
- Guide Back Cover (PDF)
Personal Renewal Group Member Testimonials
Tonja's Story
I learned that caring for yourself is not selfish, but rather a necessity of being a good friend, wife, mother and employee. I have much more to give the people in my life when I feel more in balance, rested and healthy. This requirement changes shape depending on the moment—it could mean taking time for a yoga class, going to dinner with girlfriends or taking a nap (instead of doing laundry) on the weekends. I am a recovering perfectionist and have learned that I can't do everything perfectly all of the time. I've become much more comfortable with the concept of focusing my time and energy so that one area of my life gets a lower or higher percentage of attention that week, day or even hour. It can't be split up evenly all of the time. And, it's your contribution over time, as a mother, wife, friend, employee, etc. that counts—one hour does not define your overall performance. My stress level and our family dynamic have improved infinitely as a result of my shifts in how I think, and this is the best gift I could have ever imagined.
—Tonja, mom to Annabelle, 4, and Parker, 2
Kelli's Story
After the birth of two children, I was carrying around some extra weight. To
say I was not an athletic person would be putting it mildly. I used to joke
that the only time I would run would be so I could stand first in line for
the buffet. My physical well-being had definitely taken a backseat to the
care and nurturing of my kids. After focusing for quite a while on the
self-care message, I decided to take a big step, and when a woman in my
Personal Renewal Group said she needed a walking partner, I raised my hand.
That next week we set off with my kids in tow. As we walked each week, the
weight began to drop off, and my friendship with my walking partner grew.
The confidence I found inspired me to train for and participate in my first
Danskin Triathlon. My walking partner was there with me all the way, as were
the other PRG moms, providing encouragement and support. I felt such pride
following the race. It took a lot of training and a few sacrifices along the
way, but the experience taught me so much about my internal power and
myself. I now understand that acknowledging and addressing my needs
(physical, emotional and spiritual) is not a weakness, it is a priority.
—Kelli, mom to Jackson, 6, and Lauren, 3
Lara's Story
The demands of mothering (and nursing), particularly when your kids are young, are great. Often, despite their good intentions, your partner or family members just don't understand how much physical/emotional energy it takes to care for and nurse a newborn, or to take care of children, period. When you begin to think about self-care and getting in touch with your own needs, you realize there are times when you're the only one who really knows what you need to be/feel your best. And you have to stand up for your own needs, despite outside influences. The bottom line is that there are many times a nursing mom needs to sleep—and let the dishes go. More and more I'm starting to be able to recognize this and be okay with it. Self-care was not something most of us were taught—it's something we have to learn. Baby steps.
—Lara, mom to Maddie, 6, Rowan, 3, and Hoyt, 1
Megan's Story
I used to become physically sick from stress I put upon myself to be perfect. If the laundry wasn't done or the house picked up, how could leave to go to the park? And yet, if the kids didn't get outside, they'd drive me crazy. I'd react to their behavior by yelling at them. I was certainly far from perfect. Since I've started thinking about what's most important to me in life—right now—I'm gaining better perspective. I have let go of a lot of things that I used to think mattered (a perfectly clean house). I also started to make my needs a priority, and now we have a much more harmonious household. Best of all, I appreciate and enjoy my children more than ever before.
—Megan, mom to Sarah, 5, Will, 3, and Thomas, 8 months
Rebecca's Story
Once a week, my husband and I sit down and plan our week and look at where
we need help. The idea of utilizing a support system used to be foreign to
me—I did everything on my own. Now, we are always on the same page and it
feels so great to be connected to him. (And our kids love to see a happy
mommy and daddy.) Before we did this, we were frustrated and disjointed.
Asking for help and seeking support can be hard at first—but it's well
worth the effort!
—Rebecca, mom to Alex, 4, and Piper, 2
Wendy's Story
I walked away from my life as a music business executive for a more balanced
existence. I created a career that supported that, but my thinking about
self-care and time were still driven by the corporate machine. After my
involvement in my Personal Renewal Group, I realized that I had to come first, even before my
daughter. I began to see that the life I desired was possible. It all begins
within me, and balance follows. Don't get me wrong, that perfectionist is
still inside me, but I am so much more willing to look at my motivation and
my deepest desires before I commit to things. The greatest gift I have
learned in the last year is that saying "no" brings abundance. The more I
say no to opportunities that don't feed my desire for balance, the more
opportunities that support me make themselves available.
I feel like I have reached deep down inside myself and found a nice warm
spot to reside. Much of the worry I used to have about life has lessened; I
have started taking the time to truly appreciate the gifts I offer my
family. Tapping into "me" through self-care has been a blessing.
—Wendy, mom to Ruby, 6
Renee's Story
I have never been good at achieving balance in my life. I always threw
myself into whatever phase of life or new challenge I found myself in:
college, career, traveling, career again, boyfriend, wedding planning, house
remodeling, etc. So motherhood became the next challenge to obsess about. I
wanted to experience as much as I could and didn't want to miss anything. I
wanted to drink it up and cherish each moment. After all, you can never get
back the first years of your child's life, but you have the rest of your
life to sleep, work, exercise, etc. When friends, family and mentors would
advise me to take care of myself and my relationship with my husband, I
could understand what they were saying on an intellectual level. My brain
could rationalize and understand that self-care was important, but the work
(from the Personal Renewal Group) helped me to know it in my heart. I really
believe that if I take care of myself first, I will have more to give to my
husband and children. It's important for me to set an example for my
children so that they learn to take care of themselves, lead healthy,
balanced lives and realize their fullest potential.
—Renee, mom to Harper, 4, and Zach, 2
Laura's Story
Learning to say "no" was a huge milestone for me. It improved my ability to
manage my time, care for my family and care for myself. Magically, saying no
increased the power and significance of saying "yes." Now, if I decline a
coffee date, a project, a meeting, an event, a volunteer commitment, I do
not feel guilty. I feel smart and in control. I feel more reliable. But I
have to keep practicing. In my journal, I started a list of things that I
decided not to do or declined. I'm more confident in my ability to make good
decisions. I honor my family, myself and my time by saying no. And the
rewards of that are so great. When I say no to many big and little things, I
get to say yes to a few, very important things, beyond my family. I now have
a leadership role in a local professional group. I have budding new
friendships through my Personal Renewal Group. I am able to help clients whose work I love. I
can usually whip out a dinner or an afternoon of babysitting for a friend
with a new baby. I can spend a weekday at home with my daughters without
checking email. For me, that is the power of self-care and learning to say
no.
—Laura, mom to Megan, 4, and Emily, 2
Rhonda's Story
Being in PRG has helped me focus on the importance of self-nurturing and taking care of myself first. It's made me a better and happier parent and partner. My husband and sons have reaped the benefits from my involvement in PRG. It's refreshing to hear other moms self-disclose some of the same feelings and concerns I have about parenting and keeping our own dreams and aspirations alive. I'm very grateful for this experience and the new friendships I've made. I highly recommend PRG!
—Rhonda, mom to Bryan, 5, and Dylan, 2