Dear Friend:
As I travel and coach, mentor and speak to women and men around the U.S. about enhancing life balance, I hear the same message everywhere I go: we all feel like things are moving too fast.
On a scale of one to ten - one being, “I’m so stressed, I feel a nervous breakdown approaching” and ten being “I feel really calm, centered and in the flow of life,” - where are you living most of the time? Ask your partner and kids or friends the same question; it’s interesting just to check in from time to time on our general state of well-being.
This past Labor Day weekend, my family had planned to take a day trip to a local state park with some friends. As Saturday rolled around, we realized what we most needed was to clear our calendar and just chill-out and rest. So that’s what we did—staying close to home and making homemade pizza, reading a lot, taking a family yoga class one morning and swimming at a natural spring ten minutes from our home.
Most of my clients share that this speeded-up feeling is really taxing them—physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Many of us—myself included—can easily become addicted to the adrenaline high we get from being super busy. But, living in a culture where productivity reigns supreme and our fight song is "go, go, go, do, do, do” is killing us—literally. And, making choices to slow down and do less, goes against everything we’re taught.
But, there are a growing number of us that are challenging these old ways of thinking (read my recent blog post on Busy-ness).
PERSONAL CHALLENGE: As we head into one of the busiest times of the year—my phone always starts ringing about now with requests for holiday and New Year’s Life Balance workshops—I challenge you to take 30 minutes this weekend to sit down with your family, your partner or on your own and really look at what extracurricular activities in your life are fueling you and which ones are draining you (read more about the concept of Managing Your Energy and Saying No from The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal).
Energy Assessment Exercise (30 minutes or less):
1. Set aside a designated time for this exercise, devoid of distractions, TV, radio, phones, etc. If you choose, you might put on some relaxing music and serve some iced herbal tea or your favorite beverage.
2. If you’re doing this with your family, ask each person to write down the activities they have committed to for the months of September/October/November, outside of work or school (ex: piano lessons, book groups, dog obedience school, volunteer and committee work, personal and professional travel, vacations, social gatherings, caring for an elderly relative, soccer practice, etc.).
3. Ask each member to write next to their activities, whether these obligations drain them (deplete their energy reserves) or fuel them (rejuvenate and energize them).
4. Share your findings. What are your observations? Are there activities on more than one list that are draining? How would you feel if the items that were draining you just disappeared? Why are these activities even on your list (are they “shoulds”)? What would happen if you changed your mind and said “no” to some of these commitments or postponed them until spring (see Nine Ways to Say No)? Maybe it’s time to ask for support if one of the activities is essential (like caring for an aging relative) but overwhelming? Do you have unscheduled time built into your fall schedule? Are you all building in time for self-care?
Life coach Cheryl Richardson says our quality of life is enhanced by removing things, not by adding them.
Work has geared up after a somewhat slower summer, school has started and the holidays are around the corner. I challenge you to slow down this fall, to carefully choose your activities and where you spend your precious energy. I encourage you to build in downtime and rest. And I support you in doing less and experiencing more.
And, if you are interested in really giving yourself the gift of deep physical, spiritual and emotional nourishment, consider joining us for the Fall Self Renewal Retreat for women at The Crossings. We have a couple of spots left (commuter options are available, too).
I’ll be speaking on Managing Your Energy in depth at the upcoming Oct. 2nd Pennsylvania Conference for Women and the Oct. 16th Texas Conference for Women. If you can make it, drop by and say hi, I’d love to connect.
Warmly—Renee
P.S. Thanks to all of you who have been requesting an update on how the book and Personal Renewal Group national life coaching program based on the Guide are going. Here it is!
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